Dear me,

I could ask you how you are doing today but I already know. At best it could be described as feeling out of sorts. It beguiles me to know I can detect a hint of enviousness in it when I marginally analyzed why. I did it moderately and blamed everything and everyone but myself. I thoroughly analyzed it and I could understand how, why, but not when. I over analyzed it and blamed myself, spiralled and now I've painted myself in to a corner.

My chest aches, my feet itches and I just want to drown in processed sugar. It helps. Wine also helps but I'm thoroughly out of wine. I almost always end up making a bad decision. I never seem to do that on the times when I truly feel like making bad decisions.

I have to be very careful now, I lack options so I have to be careful. Everything about this frees me, restrains me, crush me as well as uplifted me. I keep weaving in and out of tenses and I can't seem to keep anything stressful out of my mind. On a good day, those statements will never have sent me into a spiral instantly.

I'm so sleepy right now. Good night, we'll chat later.