Dear Catamenia, 

I would have loved to ask how you are doing but that's not the reason for this letter. My not-so-dear sister, Catamenia, I want us to settle our differences. You have never treated me like a sister but I still consider you as one.

Why do you come unannounced sometimes to ruin my most treasured robe? Pelvic contraction, muscle spasms, stooling, backache, hot flash in the stomach, vomiting, headache, dizziness, increased/decreased appetite, cravings, hurting breasts, and terrible mood, are too much to announce your arrival.

You aim to notify me that an ovum is not fertilized, trust me, I'm not expecting. And if I am, I still don't want you. Be quick with your hellos and goodbyes, a nasty visitor you are. 

Can you please tell your crazy forerunner, Ovulazione to be nice and not replicate your moves? Can you please tell her that not every sister has where to go when she serves her hot randy dishes?

Please, whenever your time is due, dance out glorious in your most gleaming red dress. I'm too young for high blood pressure and regular panic attacks. Times are hard and babies don't eat grass with a single woman.

         Love, hate, or both, 

              Georgia.