Slowing down.

Two words that sound very easy yet are so hard to achieve in a world that constantly pressures you to run faster even in the time of weakness. You're tricked into believing that if you delay for a second, you're going to end up at the very bottom of the ladder reserved specifically for those who have failed in life.

It's almost amazing how mechanical everything seems to be. Everyone says there's no manual to life, yet their words seem to contradict their actions. High class, middle class, low class, the mob mentality is always present even when it doesn't look like it, and the pressure lurks right there in the corner ready to swallow you up at any given opportunity.

The very moment you were born was probably the minute your parents decided who you were going to be, the kind of job you'd have, and maybe even down to the kind of spouse you would end up with.

This naturally shapes your life through primary and secondary education, what course you're going to study in school, the kind of job you're going to get after, down to the wife or husband you end up marrying. They have it all figured out. Anything outside of what has been mapped out for you, you're sliding your way down that ladder, brother/sister.

...And oh God, the comparisons! At the tiniest mistake, you're reminded of Mrs Bola's son who bought her a new house last week.

It's not really your parent's fault either so you can hardly blame them for it. They probably toiled really hard to see you through school and now you're their one chance at a better life, or it's just that they genuinely believe they know what's best for you.

You finish school and finally landed a bachelor's degree? That's great! Now go get a job, and '"ASAP', 'Right now' would be the perfect time, please."

Where's the space for your dreams to actually take shape in the middle of all these? Are you even allowed to dream? The world makes you believe it's probably just wishful thinking; Dreams are just dreams afterall.

"Wake up to the reality of life," they'd say. If they're nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, they'll tell you, "You'll get to that later! Afterall, money is important so you can fund your dreams!"

The worst part is, they're not entirely wrong. Before you know it, just like that, the next 10 years of your life is gone, stuck at a job you don't love, walking and working through life like a robot who exists solely to function. Nobody told you it was going to be like this.

Where's the time to actually breathe?

What happened to the part where you're actually supposed to 'live'?

So much expectations, even from random strangers who don't know anything about you besides your name. You're having a casual conversation; one minute you're joking around and having a good laugh and the next, you're being asked what your plan is for the next 10 years, and God forbid you say you haven't thought that far yet, they're looking at you as if they've finally found life's greatest failure.

Don't get me wrong. Planning for the future is not wrong. Somehow you've managed to map out how the next ten years of your life is going to be?

Good for you. I hope there's room in there for some flexibility though because life doesn't always go the way you tell it to.

However, you don't have it all figured out?

It's okay!!!

All of these expectations already weigh you down so much it seems you're one second away from losing your mind. You then decide to go on Instagram and the first thing that appears on your timeline is that eighteen year old influencer flying in a private jet.

You look at your twenty something year old self whose best means of transportation is that okada that you still fought the driver for twenty naira change in the morning and you wonder where exactly you went wrong in life.

At this point, the pressure has gotten to the point of a chokehold and you're ready to do just about anything just so that you could at least have a little peace of mind.

At this point, I'm inclined to ask,

Does this resonate with you?

Yes, maybe?

Well, all I'm just trying to say is . . .

Breathe.

Slow down, and breathe.

For real.

Actually pause for a second and take a deep breath.

Inhale. Exhale.

Good.

Believe me. It's okay to not have it all figured out. Really. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Life is not passing you by. It's all just a trick from the devil to deceive you and mess with your head.

This is not to encourage you to be lazy or lax. Even the bible says that the idle hand is the devil's workshop, and the soul of a lazy man would desire, but have nothing.

Diligence is key to a man's being as long as he is alive.

However, many fail to realize that one of the most constant things in life is surprises. Life would throw you a curveball so hard that it'll scatter all your plans to nothingness. How are you ever going to recover from the blow if you have never embraced the fact that life isn't always one way?

You could be on a path today, and tomorrow the strong need for change would come, and that's okay. You definitely don't need the judgemental gazes and opinions that communicate clearly that they think you're making the worst mistake of your life.

Sometimes, it's not even going to be so drastic. Probably you're feeling restless, and all you need at that moment is to stop for a minute. In that case, take a break. Relax. Recharge.

Please understand that's okay too. I'm sure even the greatest machine invented is prone to burn out, much more less you.

You need to realize that contrary to what most believe, life is not a 'race', at least not in the way the world interprets it, and there's no winner or loser. Everybody has their own path to tread at their own pace, and circumstances would never be the same for everyone. Some may have it rapid and some slow. Some may seem to have it all and some nothing at all. Through it all, whatever it is, learn to care for yourself.

There would be times you feel like everything is working perfectly for you and absolutely nothing could go wrong, and there would be times you'd feel that your whole world is about to crumble anytime soon.

Trust me, it's all part of the process. Understand that we live life to learn and grow. We rise and we fall. We fail and we succeed. All of these have been and would continue to be part of the process of carving you into the amazing person you are today and the much more amazing person you'll be tomorrow.

And yes, believe it. You're amazing.

So what if there's still so much to do and make sense of?

Shocker.

You have the rest of your life to do that because I assure you that as long as life remains life, you would never have it all figured out.

Life is not complete by how much you're able to tick off your list before you die, and it's not all about your achievements. The joy is in finding fulfillment regardless of the point you are in life because trust me, if you're waiting for when you would have it all, I can assure you that you would never have enough. That's just the demand of life.

If there's anything you need to remind you of how strong you are, it's that you're reading this right now. You're still breathing. You have not crumbled under all the pressure and you wouldn't, unless you decide to let yourself go. But don't do that. Protect yourself and your mental health.

Every challenge you go through is a means to learn and grow. You'll cry, you'll be frustrated, broken hearted, but at the end of it all, there's joy, laughter, wonder, healing and a clearer and brighter future accompanied by a bigger and brighter you.

The most beautiful part about it all is that you are not alone. Even when it feels like it's just you, it's never so.

You have someone who genuinely understands how you feel; who cares for you, who would never for a single moment forsake you, and if you're willing, is ready to walk you through every doubt, pain, feeling of contempt, inadequacy and just about anything that has built up in you that makes you feel like you're one second away from caving in into the pressure of this world.

Believe me when I say I'm not coming from the standpoint of someone who has achieved so much and mastered life. I wish that was the case but it isn't. I'm just a girl learning to take one day at a time and grow with the process.

I'm also a girl who has come to realize the deep love of one who loves her above all else and is willing to at every point, grant peace to her everytime she feels like the world is running faster than she is, and this love, she wants to show to the world because there is nothing else quite like it in existence and there would never be.

It's on that note I repeat:

Slow down, breathe and most of all, trust in the love of the one who would never fail because you are never alone.

Incase you don't know who I'm talking about, His name is Jesus Christ, and He loves you more than you would ever know.

Till next time.

So then, we must cling in faith to all we know to be true. For we have a magnificent King-Priest, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who rose into the heavenly realm for us, and now sympathizes with us in our frailty.

Hebrews 4:14 TPT