Caught in between what I was, what I am, and what I want to be. It's a tough stage of my life, and I've been tasked with making decisions about everything. Most people say that the decisions I make now will determine the rest of my life, and it scares me. What do I know? I've barely had any experiences on my own, and now I make the calls? I've just been released from the strict commands of my parents as a reward for getting into university—the closest thing to freedom I've experienced. And now I take charge? What have I learned? What do I know? These questions irritate my stomach.
The world out there is cruel, not how I imagined it to be. I'm determined to conquer it, but I don't know where to start. I obviously can't start out like Dami, whose father has a big name—mine hasn't. I'm caught in this weird web, and honestly, I congratulate everyone who made it past this stage; it's daunting. I've been trying my best to adjust to this new life: no free food, no free time, huge expectations, immense pressure. And don't tell me they don't get to you because that's a lie. These new conversations are weird to me—sex, alcohol, money, relationships, cars, jobs, tours, and all. The world expects so much from little inexperienced me, and I'm scared. What if I fail? But then again, what if I succeed? But what if I fail? What would the world think of me? How will I face the shame of not being able to navigate what I didn't invent or learn how to navigate?
Anyways, these are nothing but my shower thoughts, and they send shivers down my spine. Oh well, I'll dry my face up, put on my best fit, and face whatever this cruel world throws at this experienced rookie. What's the worst that can happen?
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