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Pharmacy School in Names and Anecdotes: An Anamnesis of the Times with My Classmates.
Chukwuma Henry Onyekachi
Chukwuma Henry Onyekachi
7 months ago

Two days before our oath-taking/induction ceremony, I make a thread on my WhatsApp status, congratulating, teasing and complimenting some of the friends I made in my class. Each person was posted with their official induction picture but this site wouldn't enable that. So, make their images in your mind, who knows, you could be right.


♧ Pharm Ali Peter Onyekachi 

"Peter has a women problem." This would be my caption if a newspaper, TV, or any media outlet asks me to talk about my friend when he blows someday.

From the first semester of the first year to the second semester of the final year, about six years in UNN, Peter didn't find a girlfriend, a situationship, a sneaky link... Just him and his ash & white uniform. I tried. I called for help. We teased him with it. Still, he is leaving UNN with nothing. 

On PANS cultural night when Precious and I dared him to talk to one girl he said something about, Peter took the challenge. Walked with that confidence I had never seen him muster, only that it wasn't confidence. It was just that drunken type of gait Street boys make when they want to toast a roadside hawker. The girl was friendly though. Even though this guy gripped her hand in a weird, scary way, she still followed him aside. They talked for like a minute and the girl was receptive. At least, that's what Precious and I thought. But a day after, bro confessed to me that he just took the girl aside, explained to her that he was challenged to do this, and pleaded for her number. My bro pleaded. These days, he sees the girl and starts getting PTSD. I'm sorry I did that to you, my bro.

But Peter is everything you would want in a friend. The first person I would call if Access tried to disgrace me. The person to laugh with and talk about life after school. He raps. He writes too.


♧ Pharm Muoghara Mary-Precious Oluchi 

Ken said Muoghara has to upgrade her account before the 2nd to accommodate the prizes. That's something really worth considering. I have seen a lot of bright people but she isn't one -it's not brightness when you generate (rather than reflect) your own light, it is incandescence. You've been more than just a best-performing student. 

It's so funny how I would invest my time trying to explain things to someone who would end up getting 90+, and I would enjoy doing it even. What's more funny is how you try to make me feel like the smarter one, I mean, everyone sees the scores. I guess that's humility, I don't know.

But hey, it's an honour doing all that with you, the practice, the past questions... I would have been way too laid back if I didn't have you looking out for me. Guess this is the time to say thank you. But then, no point when I could defer it for the future.

I have spun this in a way that hoodwinks you into thinking that our relationship was exclusively academic. It's the deceit you do with words.



♧ Pharm. Umaru Jennifer Ogbede-Ojo 

used to be the guy who frowned while walking and only smiled at friends, so it was pretty hard for anyone to get close to me unless I initiated it. But not Chubee. The day we first had a decent conversation, I was walking with a girl after school. She caught up, called me Dancing Pen, and proceeded to ask for my number. I thought of how confident she could be to pull that off. But now that I know her well, I understand that she wasn't confident or anything, it has always been that primordial instinct that drives foolish people.

She writes fine poetry and fiction, it's why she is my mentee. A good sense of humor and intelligence makes conversations with her always a wholesome experience.

There is no day we talk that I don't have my mouth agape or shout 'Jesus Christ' in awe of the deeply prying questions she asks. Questions she know I wouldn't answer. The primordial instinct, remember?

I can tell you that you're amazing, stunning, smart... - those wouldn't be lies - but what's the fun in that? You're stupid, my dear.


♧ Pharm. Ugwu Dickson Onyedikachi.

Onyedikachi has a rich portfolio. Class rep, PANS UNN President, PDP Youth Leader, and organizer of several events in school and Nsukka as a whole. Had a regime that shook my faculty. He is capacity however you define it.

But then, I still see through him. I know what he really is. This guy called me two weeks ago and asked where I was. Told him I was in school, so he teased me with __ In my defense, I said I didn't even have money to __ , and this guy sent me 10k instantly. Imagine sending me money to do things that displease God. Well, I bought Goya oil to pray for him instead.

I could literally not submit a CA for external courses and Dickson would have it sorted without even calling me. You'll go places, my brother, with Blessing in your life, you're already blessed and guarded from that life.


♧Pharm Ugwuja Anthony Chinedu

If I call Tonysmile foolish now, everyone would assume that it's just the same way I've been calling the others names. But I really mean it this time. This bro no get sense.

Tech bro but they just married your girlfriend now now. He didn't even fight it. His own is to be carrying a laptop around, building what couldn't even house his babe.

My oga literally. I learned one or two from you. You were resilient and now we are here, congratulations. Time to do that drug business and come back to break another guy's heart.


♧ Pharm. Onyibor Emmanuel Mmaduaburochukwu 

I don't have much to say, but someday, you'll lie on your bed, look up at the ceiling, and reflect on what is happening to you, only to realize that that is God just being prudent with giving you what you truly deserve.

Meanwhile, if your life is going too smoothly and you're looking for a fine Anambra man to ruin you completely, no carry him work give another person.



♧ Pharm Asogwa Sunday Joseph 

Big man, Ajoe.

If you are not an insider, you'd think that the best thing that happened to Ajoe last year was graduating from pharmacy school. Nahh. Ajoe left Peter and went on a journey across seven seas and seven mountains to find her. And now that she's here, his joy is complete.

Congratulations on this one and that one, bro.

You are outstanding both in learning and in character. Go build a life for the family, my man.


♧ Chima Uzochukwu Emmanuel 

If you think you're good with profiling, Cube's personality will take you a decade back. It's common to see intelligent people as nerds but try Cube. The first time my shock came was on my birthday like 3 years ago. Cube has that wild side. Person wey grow up for Onitsha no fit dull na. But I have to stress his brilliance and exposure again. He will watch PL matches the night before the Ceutics exam, and still go on to get his Distinction. 

Have you listened to him talk politics, finance and economics, history...? He is pretty informed. 

Excel further, my bro.


 ♧ Pharm Nnedu Emmanuella Chiamaka 

Ella, Ella

Poor man pikin go look the planchets for Ella's suit think say na just decoration. But if she decides to wear all her medals, her clothes will be more decorated than an Air Force general's. ISPOR past and present, Rotaract then, this and that... 

Ella and I had this proximity in our study spots in the fourth year and final year (we maintained the same spot), that's how we got talking. This lady would read for long hours without batting an eyelid, ahh. I used to take short breaks every 30 minutes, I fit go mental. I respect your ethics to work and academics (but where she draws the line is wearing an ash skirt to class). You'll go far with it.

Congratulations, dear.


♧ Pharm. Odo Lovelyn Onyinye 

Who connects with their classmate in their final year? Well, I. And many things are not my fault in this life, like electing Tinubu as president and not knowing Lovelyn till we graduated. We weren't in the same practical group, so...

Well, the best thing is that we're now friends. The first time we ever spoke, she cried because she wasn't shortlisted for an exam for another person's mistake. I was so surprised that I didn't even know what to say. The mistake would later be rectified and she would go on to write the exam.

I like how she talks in a narrative style that keeps you absorbed. I also like that she's too serious about this profession. Do you believe that after getting B.Pharm (Nig.), she still enrolled in a leading community pharmacy to more practical knowledge before her internship? That's something like post-school, pre-internship training. I envy you people who go the length to be exceptional.

Congratulations, my pharmacist friend.


♧ Pharm. Onoja Mercy Ene

Mercy of God.

You're now ready to go and practice all those things you were dying to learn. I remember how you used to haunt us with prescriptions, cases, and questions every market day. You're the kind of intern who will be bouncing a consultant's prescriptions with precise reasons. 

One of the hidden BGSes. I'm glad that Dr. Mbah was your supervisor, an overzealous student vs over serious supervisor.

You'll definitely excel in the profession. Congratulations.


♧ Pharm Apeh Emeka Great

One of the wonders that happened in this school was finding out that Great is from my village. Odogwu na Amufie.

Want to learn how to combine any legal soft money-making skills with academics? Great is your go-to person. 

Thanks for always checking on me, big guy. Friday, we paint your venue red.



♧Pharm Hampo-Fidelis Jennifer Añulika 

Hampo was a proper introduction to pharmacy school. When you come from a secondary where you were the best or counted amongst the best, there is this subtle arrogance you tend to display. You'd think you're still the best forgetting that you're in a cloud of bests, so you show that conscious disregard for others' opinions and/or methods. Hampo reset mine. We were in the same Chem 171 group. When I thought that my methods were impeccable, Añulika would point out the flaws, and each time I was corrected, my head shrunk and my hanging shoulders dropped a bit.

I only got to ask her if she's a shy person last year. She affirmed. She exudes that big girl energy that makes you think that she is snobbish or proud, but that's what most shy people do - cover their delicate esteem with mean faces. At the start of every semester, even in the second semester of our final year, we would have an online conversation and agree that our physical relationship should improve since we only get to chat online. But who would see that through? Both of us are reserved, so it never happened. Still, Hampo is a top lady.

Hampo is now a celebrity. Every 3 market days she is doing video shoots for a brand, on air (she is an OAP), or chilling with the big people. I reminded her last year that I have been her loyal fan and she promised to always reply to my messages promptly even if she became the president. She's humble like that.

Took time to build a brand on social media and her academic performance was still as excellent as ever. First class, pharmacist. Fashionista. The question is, "What can Hampo not do well?"

Congratulations, Hampo.



♧ Apeh Gerald Ekene.

Code mixing and code-switching aren't a big deal in communication until you meet Gerald. You'd think that a student who code mixes or code switches does that from English to his mother tongue, with English spoken more. It's the reverse for Ekene. He uses English to spice up his native language, not the other way around. Whether you are from Nsukka or not is your business, bro will speak Enugu Ezike to you and you better learn fast. Ask Marky.

A very real one. And very intelligent too. This is your starting point, bro.


♧ Pharm. Okonkwo Sandra Adanna

I once walked into the class and sat on a chair close to Sandra. She greeted me and we talked briefly. Minutes later, Ekene Precious entered and told me that I was sitting on the chair they kept for Chubee. She then asked Sandra that kept it why she didn't tell me. Sandra said I was too confident when I was sitting down, that it was as if I had been there even before they came. Precious and I laughed. That's how much this one doesn't like trouble or anything that will make her talk. Taciturn or probably just quiet around people she doesn't know.


♧ Nwachukwu Chidimma Lynda

Dimma 

I don't know if Dimma noticed but when I see her these days, I don't stay in her way to hug her, shake her hand, or even smile at her. What I do is to clear from her path, then from the side, say my greetings. I used to give those friendly gestures when I knew her as a human, these days, I fear she is not. Do you know what it takes for someone to get a 5.0 GPA in the fourth year & final year while being pregnant and nursing a newborn respectively? Like the 4th year that choked a free man like me. You can now see why I don't see her as human, right?

Chidimma did the whole financial analysis for our Unique Pharmacy startup. That's how intelligent and dedicated she is. Extremely humble too. 

If I had a son now, I would have sent him on a holiday to your house, let him just bond with Chizaram, it's easier to make it childhood love, yunno. But now, I'm scared that my children may only have Dickson and Tonysmile's children to bond it. Such a sad regression.

Congratulations, Dimma. You had one of the most incredible runs I have ever seen.


♧ Pharm Chukwudi Chimaobi 

BSc. in Pharmacology and B.Pharm. Chimaobi has seen enough of the _Bachelor_ life. I've been begging him not to enroll for a Pharm.D. We already know that you're good, it's okay, please.

There is this aura of maturity and kindness that you carry with you. Keep being the good guy, my fellow teetotaller.


♧ Pharm Aniefuna Chisom Victoria 

Chisom is a living motivation. Saw this Twitter thread where the tweep asked how you made your first millions, and our tech sis answered "Hackatons". Big flex! When we were at home languishing under ASUU's striking hands, Chisom was catching international flights to compete in hackathon events.  

Chisom has a catalog that can't fit into this slide even if I tried to just list them. She is a certified product manager but she manages people even more. She suggests the right courses for everyone. She gives you direction and helps you to not derail. Surprisingly, she stays down to earth. If I had done half of what she has accomplished, I'd print it on my shirts and wear it around just to show y'all that we are not mates. A proper tech sis.

If you're feeling too happy with your life and would use a little intimidation, please, go through her LinkedIn page, it works every time.

Congratulations, my aspire that really aspired and acquired her desires.


♧ Pharm Chukwudi Onyinye Precious 

There's something about the two Chukwudi's in my class that screams class and smartness. Onyinye was our saving grace in most practicals. Chimaobi, Jonah, and I -we always were grouped - would just watch and wait while she did all the work herself. If you're entering an exam hall and sight Onyinye behind or beside you, you just know that it's about to be a blast. Though she never read anything if you asked before the exams, somehow, miraculously perhaps, Distinctions will be plastered against her name. We knew what she was then sha.

One of the small girls that will make you wonder if age and height reduce your IQ with how good their thought processes are. Congratulations, our own precious Precious.



♧ Pharm Ekene Precious Chisom 

I don't know if Ekene had been a reporter some time ago or if she just attended a good secondary school but I envy her accent. I used to commend it every time, even though Nsukka has watered it down. One of the gentle troubles, not troublemaker o, trouble itself. She used to be my good friend but when she found love, her confidence spiked, pride stepped in, and she became a bully.

I could say that she has excellent communication skills, is confident, smart, and friendly but that would just be me being a bully apologist. However, she really is all that.

Congratulations on your B.Pharm, dear.


♧ Pharm Asogwa John Chidinma

Tweep 1 (posts): What is a privilege that people act like isn't?

Tweep 2 (replies): Having a good class rep.

I can relate to the above because having Janz as my class rep preserved my mental health by at least 60%.

Bachelor of Science and Bachelor of Pharmacy, if you were Janz, you'd be tired of the bachelor life. That is where Ms P comes in. Do you think I didn't know what I was doing when I placed them close to each other? It won't be me separating what God has joined together.

Janz is a servant leader, the kind of class rep who helps you clear the cobwebs that may hamper your successful exit from this tough school. His guiding principle is esprit de corps. He tells us to look out for one another and he goes on to demonstrate exactly how to do that. I admire your calmness in the face of challenges. You would be battling with that crushing pressure from the faculty and Chidimma would just tell you "Calm down, I will handle it." And the best part is that he would. Congratulations, Janz


Pharm Favour Ezinne

My project partner with a distinct topic. Ezinne can easily be mistaken for an introvert but she is not even an ambivert. She is a full-fledged extrovert, at least, from what I know. 

She is brilliant, looking to japa, godly and hardworking. She might be everything you are looking for. The problem is if you haven't found God face to face. Your talking stage might include "Can you pray for 5 hours for starters?"

Congratulations, Favour.


♧Pharm Onyehalu Jennifer Chinaecherem

Everybody is Onyehalu's love but Onyehalu is nobody's love. To be fair here, she calls every guy her love but she doesn't really have any of them. What a life!

HoDs are wooing Jennifer to come and teach in their department. Agbo told her in class one day "Come and teach chemistry. I'll pay you well. If you want to go to the US, I'll send you to the US. If you want to go to the UK, I will send you to the UK..." And she just stood there laughing. Actually, they started competing for her right from project time. She could literally choose any of the seven departments to do her project. 

Jennifer has impacted lives with her teaching skills irrespective of whether she wants to practice in academia or not. Jennifer will organize tutorials to teach complex topics before exams, solve past questions for the class, clarify individual concerns and questions, and still invest more time and energy during resit exams. You and Cube were the reason some people didn't get withdrawn from the program, and we are grateful to you.


♧ Pharm Ozioko Chinemerem Mary

Nemerem

Nemerem is the best person to compliment, the way she smiles wholesomely makes it a worthwhile investment. Chinemerem is such a cool person, it shows in everything she does. She gets along with everyone like a house on fire. Helped us drag that fraud called Buchy.

You will think you are creative until you meet Chinemerem. I don't care what anyone says, I just know that crocheting is one of the hardest forms of art. Not to Chinemerem though. I see the designs she created and I'm in fresh awe of her talent. And she never stops exploring styles. Today, she is helping a Nigerian crocheter test her style and tomorrow, she's helping an international brand recreate their pattern. I'm waiting for when LV, Dior, or any of these brands will discover you, or when your brand will get to that level. It will happen soon and I'll be here rooting for you.

Congratulations, the fairest of them all.


♧Pharm Sunday Godswill

The only organ harvester. The preceptor told this one to palpate a patient in a simulation laboratory and the way he gripped the patient's abdomen, the patient bubbled up immediately. Nearly burst someone's kidney. He no dey calm down.

Godswill really gives way to God's will in his life. One of our committed brothers.

Congratulations, brother. Please, just do only inspections wherever you choose to practice. No percussion, palpation, or auscultation, please.


♧Pharm Ottah Nancy 

Pearl.

I used to think that I was the only one Nancy called "My Love" until I discovered that there was indeed plenty others. In fact, it was just a mere greeting to her. Women! I guess I should take consolations from the fact that I enjoyed the delusion. 

If you are looking for a lady that is strict, somewhat friendly and quiet, you haven't found her. Nancy isn't what I would describe as quiet. It's circumstantial. She could be lively. You see her smiling broadly more often that you see her make a straight face, so we have to lay the strict accusation to rest. She is affable. I remember I just chatted her up from our group chat - it's how I usually make lady friends- and we got talking. We were friends the next time we met. But Nancy is proudly a church girl. A Godly lady, if we could use a little modification.

She has this energy that she shared with us. She would ask if you attended classes and why you didn't. She was a serious student. Read a lot. 

Congratulations, Pearl.


♧Pharm Agubuzo Kosi Stephanie 

Kosi always minds her business and that's what makes our beef hard for me. Everyone seems to think that I'm the problem. Whether I'm sitting, standing, or walking, Kosi will approach me with a frown and askance look (criminal offensive side eye). If I smile, she smiles too - that's how small her brain is - if I don't, she'll know that I'm not looking and target my shoulder with a slap.

 She initiated Comfort into the fooldom, and Comfort roped Glory into same. Association of Lady Pharmacists in Tomfoolery chairperson.

The image that looms large for Kosi are bullying, lying (about who beat the other first), insulting, and obtaining respect under the pretense of a gentle lady.

But she's nice when she wants to be, can communicate well, always on her own except when she is looking for trouble, peaceful and kind, a good leader but she is not with all the noise and stress that comes with it - whenever they ask her to number the class, she starts sweating in the nose. Agubuzo's only fool introduced me as Ewu to her sister.


♧ Pharm Ekanem Comfort Paul

This day, I was on my own drawing structures in my notebook when Comfort came inside. We exchanged our usual pleasantries. Two minutes later, a strange number called me and I picked up, started saying 'Hello' till I went from saying it to shouting it, you know how frustration slowly sets in when you can't hear a caller you don't know. So, I went outside to return the call, when I did, I heard 'You are really a fool o' and a burst of weird laughter followed. I went back to class. Lo and behold, Comfort and all the students sitting close were looking at me and laughing.

Comfort knows what she wants and she'll you get it. I remember the night she kept me awake till around 3 am deliberating a motto for her brand. I exhausted my diction and had to browse synonyms on Google before we coined a good one. The CEO of a hospitality brand, the big Komfort Reservations, big lady no dey pass like that. An influencer that boosts your X likes immediately she reposts. 

Never stop smiling and may you never meet someone who will repeat what your supervisor did to you.

Congratulations, the most foolish of them all.


♧ Pharm Nnah Munachi Cyril 

Hey, Girlfriend.

You have a way of lighting up the room with your presence. I'm thinking of an anecdote to use here and there is none I can remember that doesn't involve you being nice and caring.  

One time two of my friends were cast in a movie, I posted the movie flyer with 'My girl-friends are on this one.' Muna asked why the girl-friends is hyphenated and I told her I that they are girls and my friends but aren't my girlfriends in the common sense of the word. So, she started calling me boy-friend. A boy. Her friend. 

She wrote all of us out of failure in second year with her fast writing skills. That first semester of your first professional level when you start listening to lecturers speak very fast and use numerous jargons you can't even spell. And you just sit in class wondering what the heck is happening. We would photocopy her notes later. Imagine there was no her?

Muna slays too. Everyone who knows her would agree with me but if you're seeing her for the first time, look at the picture again.

Congratulations, girlfriend. I hope you have a very beautiful career and life.



♧ Pharm Idioma Chidimma Genevieve

White Dove

White Dove is a real dove. I have many classmates that don't bother anybody and let nobody bother them. She is one. She contested for PANS UNN VP and surprised everyone with the kind of weights she was able to pull from the underground. Her influence on the faculty's politics remains to date. All that without any drama or stepping on any toes. 

Married recently, White Dove's husband came for everything- looks, brain (another Distinction kid), capacity, vision, and peacefulness. 

I trust you'll make us proud wherever you choose to practice. Congratulations 👏 


♧ Pharm Idike Anne Chibundo 

That type of classmate you may never really know. But Chibundo and I served in the PANS Editorial Crew sometime ago, so that's how we became friends. She won the faculty's short stories competition in 2019/2020. She writes but these days, she prefers to just read.

Seems like a serious student from afar but God knows that if she weren't very smart, she would've dropped like a ripe mango since. She comes to school when the first two lecturers are done, and would still think that she did well. 

Congratulations, Chibundo. Your brains saved you


♧Pharm Ugwu Kingsley Tochukwu

Nwoke Ihakpu. Congratulations, King. Your own is to be hanging around girls without dating any of them. They're just doing you 'ono nse eru aka' (close but can't touch. This is a very loose translation). 

Kingsley can read 24/7, I know because I used to catch her studying in school every day. He would be there when I came and would be there when I left. Only him did IT in like 3 places, people with passion.


♧ Pharm Ikwu Stephanie Obianuju

" Henry, am I troublesome?", asks someone that I can't even answer 'Yes ' without fear. But she doesn't make trouble with just anyone. She rather post scriptures than get into arguments. Miss her with faculty/extracurricular events but you'll always find her in her church's programs. Former Clerk of the PANS House of Reps, Uju is a retired politician. It was when she was still in the world that she did all that. But that time was sha hot, say what she doesn't agree with on the group chat and you'll collect. Thank God for salvation 

The person who can take me around the faculty and school by just asking and of course, lightly holding me (you wouldn't believe it if I said that she drags me. So, yes, light grip). 

Congratulations to, the pharmacist's daughter that became a pharmacist.


♧ Pharm Osefo Rita Chinenye

"Osefo is 0'22 WhatsApp TV (status)" ~ Dickson 2024.

 Sometimes in third year, I was talking with Osefo and she complained to me about how she bought a biscuit she didn't need just because she saw it at the hostel canteen. To her, that was an unhealthy spending habit, and it sorta made me reflect on my spending because everything I have in this life was bought on impulse. Like, I just couldn't get how you needed to plan before you buy a #100 biscuit. Overtly extroverted on WhatsApp but an introvert in other social media apps. In real life, it's a splice of both. Osefo is popular and has this clout around her that she refused to politically harness. Her popularity has even stretched to her sister. A lot of people know her sister solely because she shares the Osefo surname. So, you see why her WhatsApp serves as a TV. She updates us on anything she does except the really important ones, like her man. You see, everyone knows what they are doing.

Congratulations, Chinenye.


♧Pharm Edeh Excel Chimdindu

One time we were writing an impromptu test, likely for a GS course, and all of us including Excel didn't know the answer to the first question. Someone asked him and he said he didn't know it, in my mind I was just like "This Excel no dey excel at all o. This one dull." But I would later learn that Excel merits his name. Had 99 in Chem 112, and bagged Distinctions in most professionals that matter. Microsoft as Agbo calls him, truly excelled. 

Nothing pleased him more than listening to Fool and I banter in class. He'd be laughing like it's a comedy show. Tech bro but na small thing he use pass Tonysmile. Or Tonysmile even pass him sef, Tonysmile had a babe that was snatched from him but Excel? Jesus bride, sorry, groom. The Lord will provide, my brother.

Congratulations on this one as we look forward to that one.


♧ Pharm. Agu Peace Ifeyinwa

One of those persons whose names describe perfectly. Peace is truly peaceful. Too humble for all that she knows, you'd think that she's an average student. I would always say that Peace got her values right: respectful, greets in the most cheerful way, replies to messages promptly and politely, stays on her lane every time, speaks softly, acts feminine, and appears like the quality person she is. Peace is likely not single, I don't think any of my classmates is, but I can recommend you battle it out with whoever she is with. After all, she is a prize and what do you do to get one? You compete. 

Congratulations, Peaceful Peace.


♧Pharm Akwue Mary-Theresa Chinaza

Tessyyy

The only thing this one ever does is find faults in my behavior: when I extend my palm for a handshake instead of going for a hug, when I greet her casually when I pass her for the 20th time in a day without saying 'Hello' the 20th time, when I didn't keep the seat she asked me to. It's not like she goes about complaining though. She is just courteous and tries to hold everybody to that standard. Impressive if I'm asked.

I hear 'Onyekachimmmm' and I just know that it's time to get my manners together.

Has a BSc and a B.Pharm, was a stakeholder for IPSF and PANS Public Health, manages Handmaid Pastries, and is a certified data analyst. Ticks the boxes for women in Tech and women in public health. How do you define substance without all these?

Congratulations, Tessy.


♧Pharm Mba Ogonna Perpetua.

The sister that I found in the faculty. Ogonna treats me like a brother, not just a brother but a younger brother. One time I was sick, she bought drugs and came to my lodge to give me injections. It's a kind gesture I'll never get to forget.

She is one of those ladies who belittled our academic struggles in this school - Ogoo gave birth early in the morning and came to write an exam around 9 am the same day. And still smashed it. I don't know how you did it but it's heroic. A wife, a mother, an entrepreneur (if you see the way her brand packages zobo into ready teabags, you'd bow), and a licensed pharmacist.

I know you'll have a good life because I'm always rooting for you.


♧Pharm Chukwu Jonah Ogonnaya

The biggest fish ever. The Bible says that the fish swallowed Jonah but this Jonah thinks he is the fish.

Jonah and I were always in the same groups and subgroups, so I know him well. Jonah reads voraciously but pretends like he doesn't know anything. Got the highest rating for all Pharm Tech project students, a special kind of BGS.

He is single but not by commission or omission. It's his fate. After we all tried to turn the Vander waal's forces between him and Onyinye into covalent, fate ceded it again. We wept but fate gotta do what it gotta do without recourse. So now, we are asking you to help a pharmacist find his other half.

Congratulations, The Special One.


♧Pharm Eze Jude Obinna

Jude has a women problem too. But, nna ehh. I guess this is the time we start praying for someone to just be like Peter. This one's women problem is that he can't stop. He wants this and he wants that. As if he didn't learn 'choice' in pharmacoeconomics. And he has made money, so what stops him now?

If Jude ends up in a hospital for his internship, I'll write to his preceptor to send him to the ARV ward. It's the only way he'll learn to calm down.

Congratulations, big man. Thanks for all you do.


♧Asogwa Sylvester Okwudili

Sylvester would rather miss an exam than leave me behind. And being who I am, I always kept him waiting. At a point, he started calling to remind me to start preparing at least 30 minutes before the scheduled time. I'm certain he saved me from missing one or two courses because of lateness. Thank you, bro. And thank you for the godly counseling, you're not like them that sought to lead me astray.

We are here now, so let's get it.


♧Pharm Ugwu Amarachi Favour

Once every month, I forward a few African novels to Amara and she'd reply with gladness. It's the only thing that interests her these days. You won't see her following trends, engaging in small talks, or leading this social media cloned life. 

Have you heard her speak? I bet you'd fall in love with her accent and diction. She is an award-winning debater and a freelance writer. She lauds what she considers beautiful and speaks up against unfairness. Former Deputy Editor-in-chief of PANS UNN.

Amara shall always stay winning.


♧Pharm Egwu Kenneth Chukwuebuka

AMR Fighter.

Ken Egwu came to this life, looked the menace of Antimicrobial Resistance in the eye, and said "See you, I'll crush you." And he has never stopped advancing towards it since then. In 2023 alone, Ken won more grants and awards than some university professors have in their lifetime. I'm not making or blowing this up. You should probably check his LinkedIn or Facebook.

Send me 1000 dolls make I use stage AMR awareness for my village, please.

Oh... I nearly forgot to mention... Well, let's just pretend like I forgot.


♧Pharm Chiwetalu Emmanuel 

Humble but he spells it as Hmble.

The only man I trust! Man doesn't even have time for the side things that don't line his pockets. Unless it belongs to Quadrant 1 of time management, urgent and important, you won't see Humble. And when he pulls up, he sticks to business. The only extra thing you could catch him doing is giving you his headset to hear a new album or song. We agree on most things music except Wizkid's MLLE. Hard work and a few God abegs later, we are getting licensed. 

Congratulations, my bro.


♧Pharm Dingwoke Julie Obianuju

The Jules of Her Time.

Before Jules even took her final exams, it was clear to everyone that pharmacy would be a side hustle for her. The smart money woman. Stayed close to her in the Clinical Clerkship exam where we talked about many things and realized that she has a very deep sense of life. You know that kind of conversation that challenges you to fight for your life? That's it. Woman of substance would be underrating for you, say you were a substance, you'd be more potent than oxycodone.

Congratulations, Jules.


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