I grew up being used to hearing the derogatory statement that a woman needs only to be seen and not heard. It didn't help that I came with a twin who was a male as this statement became a constant reminder in my life.

Society expected me to be under my brother, I couldn't sit at the table and say my opinion about something. I noticed that my twin's opinions were of more value than mine even though what I said was better than what he said.

I wasn't so bothered at the beginning, I always thought "oh well. It's a man's world". This is until I clocked 20, I didn't find the statement funny anymore. The saying that a woman needs only to be seen and not heard made me feel less of a human being than my brother and I hated it. I hated it when I had to keep quiet because the male folks were talking, I hated it when I had something great to contribute but everyone would prefer what my brother had to say to mine.

That moment was my moment of realization, the moment when I started wanting not only be seen but also heard, recognized and my opinions not taken for granted.

The world is a battle field that only tries to silence the female voice. The society expects us (women) to fit into the neatly defined and carved out roles of a daughter, sister, wife or a mother but then, who are we beyond these labels?

You would have to personalize that by saying who are YOU beyond these labels?

There was a time in our society where women were not allowed to apply for certain jobs. According to my mother, the only jobs suitable for a woman then was to either be teacher, a nurse or a caregiver.

You hear things like "That's a man's role or responsibility." Or "A woman shouldn't be given these jobs." You could rarely see a woman who is an engineer, mechanic, etc.

It is a fact that women still face these problems even till today.

You go for a job interview and the employee tells you aren't fit for the position simply because you are a woman.

The struggle for identity by the women folk is real and has existed for ages now. We have the ability and strength to forge our own path but we are constantly restricted from doing so by the society.

Women, we cannot allow our voices to be silenced because who would replace strong black women like Michelle Obama, Ngozi Okonjo Iwela, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, etc? These women shook the world with their contributions, they stood their grounds.

This brings us to the question "Who tells your story?" It is a question that we ought to ask ourselves everyday.

As a victim of rape, I have been silenced a lot of times by the society I live in.

When it happened, the society put the blame on me, just like they do to every other woman out there.

"What was she wearing? What time did she go out? Who did she meet?"

I would let you know that the person who raped me was my most trusted friend.

Out of anger, I wanted to report this incident everywhere, I wanted to tell my story but there was the constant reminder that I was the one to blame, that I was the one at fault. People looked at me in contempt, they shoved my story right down my throat, where it has stayed until now.

I knew that there were women like me out there, eager to be heard, eager to tell their story but just like i was, society restricted them. I was felt like a constant failure because I couldn't share my story.

It was a traumatic experience for me because society had my lips sealed.

I couldn't voice out when this guy came back and started talking nonsense with me. He told me there was no point going to the police, he told me I would only be displaying myself as a victim of rape and nobody would like me once they know who I was. No, he didn't stop there. He said the only way to keep my head high was to keep everything to myself.

Yes, I did but it didn't help me one bit.

I figured out that keeping your story buried or allowing society to silence you doesn't take the pain away, it doesn't erase the story. If anything, it makes you feel miserable.

I was told constantly that telling my rape story would only stain my white, like the Gen Zs would say.

I've always wanted to be perfect and to be loved by everyone so the fear of being imperfect forced me to keep my story away from everyone, just like everyone out there.

"Who tells your story?"

When my chambers posted about this online contest, I didn't know what to write. I thought for hours and just like I do every other contest, I waved it off.

I took it to my best friend, I told her to participate in this contest because I wasn't ready and I was clueless on what to write but she told me "This should be a platform to tell your story."

She made me understand that it was high time I stopped hiding away from the truth of who I was, it was time to educate someone by telling my story, it was time to quit being "Perfect Miriam"

"Who Tells Your Story?"

In a world where narratives have been predominantly written by and for men, this question takes in a profound significance for women. As a woman, claiming the authorship of my own narrative is not just personal, it's revolutionary.

We tell our story, You tell your story, I tell my story!

Today, I want to say it to every woman out there that the world is a loud place, a place filled with so much noise, nobody gets to tell your story louder, clearer and better than you would. Not only to the women but to every person out there. Everybody has a story to tell and by not telling it, you deprive people of the knowledge and experience they would have gained from reading or hearing your story.

In telling my story, I finally have a sense of belonging. I feel I can relate more with people who have been silenced by society just like me. I want to be an advocate so telling my story is like a baby step towards achieving that goal.

In telling my story, I feel more perfect than I was when my story was untold. I want people to love me for who I am, whether my white is stained or not.

Think about women like Chimamanda Adichie, Michelle Obama and the rest. These are black women who have told their stories proudly. These are women who didn't allow the noisy world to drown their voices. These are women who set examples for us, who gave us a path to walk on.

What good would it do us if we allow their efforts to be in vain? What good would it do us if we do not follow in their footsteps? Who would the future generation of women look up to if we do not tell our story?

It should be a constant reminder that nobody will tell your story, even if someone tells your story, it would never be as beautiful and as clear as it would have been if you were the one who told your story.

A woman's story is often untold, her voice unheard and her experience overlooked. Women, how long do we have to keep living in a world that silences us?

Are you comfortable with your story being untold?

Today, I stand firm in my identity as a woman embracing the complexities and contradictions that come with it. I shall not be silenced simply because I am a woman. I will not only be seen but I will be heard and recognized. I believe that this world is equally a "Woman's world"

My story is one of persistence, of love, of loss and of rebirth.

It is a narrative crafted with the delicate balance of nurturing and ambition, vulnerability and strength.

#WM2024