book-cover
WHO TELLS YOUR STORY: A FIGHT WORTH FIGHTING #WM2024
Abwa Lindiwe Ben
Abwa Lindiwe Ben
7 months ago

As a child, I was always fascinated by stories - not just as a construct with different combinations of the twenty six letters or as just mere words that were spoken or written down on a piece of paper. Whether it was the bedtime stories my parents would read to me or the tales my grandparents would tell about their own lives, or other stories my grandmother would tell me about her mother's time during the great depression or her own struggle as a working mother in the 1980’s. I was always eager to listen and learn. I have always been captivated by the power of personal narratives to shape my understanding of the world around us.


As I grew older, I began to realize that not all stories were created equal. Some were uplifting and inspiring, while others were dark and depressing. Some were privileged and celebrated, while some were silenced and ignored.And nowhere is this more evident than in the history of women in slavery.


For centuries, women in slavery were denied the right to tell their own stories. They were stripped of their names, their families, and their identities, reduced to nothing more than property to be bought and sold at the whim of their owners. Their voices were silenced, their experiences erased, and their humanity denied.But despite these obstacles, women in slavery found ways to tell their stories.


They whispered them to each other in the fields, sang them in the spirituals they created, and passed them down to their children and grandchildren through oral tradition. And while these stories were often distorted or suppressed by those in power, they nevertheless served as a powerful reminder of the resilience and strength of the human spirit.


One of the most famous examples of a woman in slavery who told her own story is Harriet Jacobs. Born into slavery in North Carolina in 1813, Jacobs spent years hiding in a tiny attic space in her grandmother's house, where she wrote her autobiography, Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl. In this powerful book, Jacobs describes the horrors of slavery from a woman's perspective, including the sexual abuse and exploitation that was all too common for enslaved women.


Her story was a groundbreaking work of literature that challenged the prevailing narrative of slavery as a benign institution, and it helped to inspire the abolitionist movement that eventually led to the end of slavery in the United States.But Jacobs was not the only woman in slavery who told her own story.


There were countless others, whose names and stories have been lost to history. Women like Harriet Tubman, who risked her life to lead hundreds of enslaved people to freedom on the Underground Railroad. Women like Sojourner Truth, who gave a powerful speech at a women's rights convention in 1851, declaring, "Ain't I a Woman?" Women like Mary Prince, who wrote a book about her experiences as a slave in the British West Indies, and whose testimony helped to bring about the abolition of slavery in the British Empire.


These women were not just victims of slavery; they were agents of change. They used their voices to challenge the status quo, to demand justice and equality, and to assert their own humanity in the face of dehumanizing oppression. And while their stories were often suppressed or distorted by those in power, they nevertheless served as a powerful reminder of the resilience and strength of the human spirit.


However I didn't fully understand until much later was that the way a story was told could be just as important as the story itself.


As I entered my teenage years,I became more aware of the power dynamics at play in storytelling. I noticed that certain voices were privileged over others, and that some stories were given more weight and credibility simply because of who was telling them and the lessons or information they had to offer. This realization hit me particularly hard when I started to explore my own identity as a young woman of color.


I began to see how my own experiences and perspectives were often overlooked or dismissed in favor of those of my male peers.Right from childhood, I was never one to speak out when I was being denied anything. I was a timid young girl and it wasn't until I started writing and sharing my own stories that I began to feel a sense of agency and empowerment. I realized that by telling my own story, I could challenge the dominant narratives that had been imposed on me and others like me.I could offer a different perspective, one that was rooted in my own lived experiences and the experiences of those around me. I started writing at a young age, but my breakthrough from the clutches of others narratives came a bit later. I would always write stories where the women would find the courage to stand up for themselves, speak out and also tell their own stories. I just never had the courage to live out what I had pictured.


But even as I began to find my voice, I was acutely aware of the ways in which my story was still being shaped and controlled by others. Whether it was the media, my teachers, or even my own family members, there were always outside narratives that were trying to tell me who I was and what my story should be. It was a constant battle to assert my own agency and make sure that my story was being told on my own terms.


As I've grown older, I've come to realize that this struggle is not unique to me. We all have stories to tell, and we all face obstacles in getting those stories heard. Whether it's because of our race, gender, sexuality, or any number of other factors, there are always narratives at play that seek to silence or marginalize us. I realized a long the way that sometimes, we stop ourselves from telling our own story. Sometimes we become so comfortable with having other people tell us what to do and not, that even when we have the opportunity to speak out and make our stories heard, we shy away from it. Sometimes we hold ourselves back, we are the ones who create false narratives about ourselves that hold us down. But the good news is that we have the power to push back against those narratives, be it external or internal.


We can tell our own stories, and we can do so in a way that is authentic and true to ourselves. We can seek out platforms and communities that value our voices and our perspectives. And we can support and uplift others who are doing the same.At the end of the day, who tells our story is ultimately up to us. We can choose to let others define us and our experiences, or we can take control and tell our own stories in our own way.


As a teenager I was never really a woman of myself. I was more or less like a flag, just waiting for the wind to blow and then my direction would change, but I received the best piece of advice from my aunt. She said “ Lindy, don't let anyone force you into doing, saying, acting or becoming what you do not want to. You have to fight, to be your own woman.” It's not always easy, but it's a fight worth fighting.


Because when we tell our own stories, we have the power to shape our own narratives,and make our mark on the world. We will also contribute to a more diverse and inclusive world where all voices are valued and heard, and all people are treated with dignity and respect.

who tells your story? The answer is simple: you do. You have the power to shape your own narrative, to tell your own story, and to m

ake your own mark on the world.

#WM2024

Loading comments...