No one can tell your story better than you. Because there is no better you, no one has the same DNA as you, you are not a photocopy, you are a prototype, one of a kind, and no one has ever lived in the whole of history with the same experiences as you. That is why, irrespective of who you are, what you do, and who you are becoming, you have a story—a very unique one—to share. Whether you are a young woman unraveling, or your beautiful hair stands are turning grey with wisdom, whether you love to wear comfortable clothes, sit on your couch or table working from home, or you love to be fully suited up and go to work in a formal setting. Whether you choose love over a career or career over love, or whether you are not sure what you will become, which most people still aren’t, please do not judge yourself harshly. Whether you are short or tall, fair or dark, irrespective of your size, always remember that your value does not lie in what anyone says about you; it is inherent. You know the saying that value is inherent, it is not a cliché at all, it is true. You have a value that cannot be equated to what you are doing. You can feel sometimes like you are not enough and that what you are doing is not making an impact because you have not stopped to look back at the tracks that you have covered and be grateful. There is so much on your shoulders, and as soon as you are dropping some, you are still picking up more, if you have heard it from no one, I am here to tell you that you are enough.

You might not be a Grammy award-winning singer like Angelique Kidjo, a CEO like Bethlehem Alemu, a Vice-Chancellor like Agnes Lalibata, or even a revered author like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. You might not have become a female President in Africa like Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, a Director General of the World Trade Organisation like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, or the Richest woman in Nigeria in the person of Folorunsho Alakija. You might not be a Unity Dow-Botswana’s first female High Court Judge, a renowned Gambian activist like Jaha Dukureh, or even Amina J Mohammed who is the Deputy Secretary General of the United Nations and chair of the United Nations Sustainable Development Group. You might not be the founder of Sustyvibes, a sustainable non-profit like Jennifer Uchendu. But our strength lies in our differences, that is what makes you unique, the fact that you are not them but that you are you and what you can become has not been set in stone. But we can be grateful that women have stepped into these places in their lifetime and in our lifetime to show us that there is no limit to what we can do and what we can achieve as women. We are all born with the seed of greatness, which cannot be stopped if carefully nurtured.

All the aforementioned women each have their stories, and were they not told, others would not be inspired. So you see the importance of storytelling, no story is unimportant, and every scar has its stories as well as stars and crowns. There was a TED talk in 2009 by Chimamanda titled “The Danger of a Single Story” and when you listen to it, you see therein that keeping quiet is not an option, and there have been several stories told about the danger of a single story, but as an African woman, that strikes me the most. You must not be a writer, you could talk, and share your stories with other women, your daughters, mentees, and mentors because you could liberate another woman.

Look at you, do you know what it took to get you here? generations of hard-working, strong, and resilient women. History can testify, and the universe bears you witness, and the spirit that resides on the inside of you bears you witness too. All the hard work, the volunteering, the nurturing, the housekeeping, the businesses, and every other thing that you do, best believe that you inspire someone and you are beautiful and amazing, just the way you are. Walk into rooms boldly, like you belong in them because you do belong there.

On my way to work sometime last week, one of the gatemen peeped through the tricycle I was sitting in and asked the man close to me; who is that beautiful creation seated beside you? He asked this in the Hausa language, commonly spoken and understood among people who live in northern Nigeria as well as other African countries. I knew I was the one he was talking to, but I shied away. I thought in my head "there is no way that I am beautiful". As the days went by, I kept that phrase in the back of my mind and thought about it, I would look in the mirror and see all the acne and pigmentation and think there was no way anyone thought that I was beautiful. I started having a reorientation because I realized I do not need to be told that I am beautiful-that is not what makes me beautiful, I have to believe that I am beautiful. So yes, it is also not a cliché that you have to believe it otherwise, nothing anyone says will make sense. Who sets the beauty standards even? By the way, beauty is subjective, or so I like to think about it, it goes beyond the physical. So, I now believe that I am beautiful irrespective of the acne and my bowed legs, no one even probably pays attention to it but it is something people make careless comments about. I have heard someone say that they don’t like a girl with bowed legs and I might be projecting since it was not said directly to me but I swear it hurt, so I tend to wear clothes that will not make it obvious that I have bowed legs, all covered up. It is changing and I am getting better but I am not there yet, if you know what I mean. Everything is a process, better taken gradually. So, despite the setbacks, have a little grace in yourself while you are going through stuff.

They say there will always be someone who has what you think you want and who will be better than you so instead of being bitter about it and constantly comparing yourself to people, put your head down and work. I am talking to myself because I just got my Masters degree and then was onto the next thing thinking about how people my age have a PhD. It dawned on me how ungrateful I was because we are all not on the same journey. While you work to get to where you want to be, be grateful in the moment.

I am a bonafide introvert, I hide from everybody and only God knows how I scaled through all the defenses and presentations I had to do at school but I do that when I need to. I did have a bit of a hard time because of that but it was not the end of the world. I started reading Medicine and Surgery at a university in Nigeria but did not pass my screening exams-the one I had to write before getting into the 300 level because my school always admitted more than the required number so they always had to screen. That was one of the darkest times in my life, I thought of all the things—how to run away from school and home in particular. I checked for my name many times on the board but did not find it, someone wake me up from this nightmare I thought. It took me weeks to lift my head and continue through school. I ended up graduating with a first class in Biochemistry after I changed my course and proceeded to do my Masters degree which I completed with a distinction too. I work now but I am still on the lookout for the next move to make careerwise. The point I want to drive home with this story is that you should always stop and rest if you need to but never give up until you find something you love and that fulfils you. This is to encourage someone like me that you can do it, introverts succeed as much as extroverts, so don’t let stereotypes keep you from going after what you want. People are rooting for you and some people admire you and look up to you, always know that.

And love, in typical Nigerian slang “e go reach everybody” I tend to think that the guy I refused to date when I was 17 years old is now my ideal type and that was 10 years ago. Maybe he genuinely loved me then but who knows? I keep hoping he’d come back but I am slowly letting go because life is progressive. Just last year, I broke off a relationship, and for valid reasons, he kept putting me down with his words and putting others down too. When I did anything good, I would not get any praise but the moment I did anything wrong, I got a lot of criticism and it just did not sit right with my spirit. He’d hide under the guise of ‘telling me the truth’ but I know that truth can also be delivered in love and devoid of hurtful words so for my sanity, I backed out. Do not stay where you are not wanted and where you are constantly being put down. Wait for a relationship where your partner respects and loves you and prioritizes not only your physical and spiritual health but also your mental health. You are worthy of love and let no one convince you otherwise.

I now tell my story because I am not insignificant. I am one of you, and what I have been through is a testament to how strong I have become. I have as part of my mentors my momma and my aunt who I also consider to be my mom in addition to other notable figures, I am who I am because they dared to share their stories with me. They are not in the public eye but they have had a tremendous effect on my life positively and I pray to be the guiding light for another, even if it is one soul.

In conclusion, greatness will reckon with you, keep on doing what you do, eyes are watching. 

#WM2024