“If you love me, you won’t get married to me.” Joshua said. I stood there, dazed, as I searched for words to match his words. I wasn’t hearing properly, I realized, did he mean will? Our agreement was six months and this was the ninth-month, and even if he wanted to ask me, shebi pe he will propose, I switched to my local dialect, at least that’s how we did it in ese-odo, my Yoruba pidgin hadn’t left me yet, I realized, that was what living in the ghetto parts of Lagos taught you as a village girl. “You mean will right?” I twitched my lips to make the English sound just right. I had met James at the airport, the very day that forgot his breakfast, or rather, another random day in which Onome had refused to make breakfast for Father.

“I’m doing it now, but the onion is just scratching my eye.” She usually said whenever I found her slacking in the cutting of onions, “My friend commot there.” I told her, mother liked to do everything pápápá, it was one of those traits that she had passed onto me even after she died. “What are you doing here?” I heard father scream before he pulled me to the air stand, he was suddenly tensed, I didn’t know why, 

“Ebele, you didn’t tell me you were coming.” He said, “Papa, Onome didn’t prepare your food on time, I decided to bring it myself.” I said, shielding my hair from whatever wind that brushed passed it, “That your lazy sister.” Father stared at the basket filled with food before he made his next decision, he had sense, I realized. “Wetin you cook?” He asked, 

“Rice and beans, stew sauce assorted with, beef egg, crayfish and neatly sliced ponmo.” I said. 

“Just like your mother made it?” Papa asked, I smiled, “Yes papa.” I smiled.

“Mr. Jonah.” A voice called after father, my ears went to him before my eyes did. He stood by the door of father’s relatively small office and the attention of both of us, had suddenly found a new home, him. “You’re needed Mr. Jonah.” He said, our eyes met, like he could see through the blue lens glasses that I had on, it made shy, very shy.

“Who’s this?” He asked, “You know non-airport workers aren’t allowed here.” He said with a wry smile.

“Oh, this is my daughter, Ebele.” Father finally introduced me, “And Ebele this is my oga patapata, Joshua Williams, na oyibo man with touch of Africa.” Father said.

Joshua laughed at father’s joke before turning to me, “Please don’t mind your Dad, and I’m a Yoruba boy that doesn’t believe in African traditions.” He said with a smile that could set the whole world on fire. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Joshua.” I said,

“Just Joshua is fine.” He said. “Oya make we dey go, Mr. Joshua” papa said, ruining whatever moment I and Joshua shared. It must have been his way of keeping me away from a Yoruba demon, I realize. But I wasn’t going to listen, not when he looked like Dangote pikin.

Staging a second meeting with Joshua wasn’t as hard as I thought it’ll be, it wasn’t hard to think about the chances of Joshua Williams taking the fastest route to Medulla’s lane- one of the fanciest estates in Abeokuta. At what cost? It had taken me fifteen thousand naira David salary, to get some information on David from the cleaners who handled Joshua’s office. Thanks to David, my correct mumu. He was a mister nice guy, too nice a guy that will do anything to make our five-year relationship work, and the worst part, father liked him. For David we were a work in progress, a bitter-sweet way to hold the thread that kept our relationship alive-Money. It was money, I wanted lots of it, which he didn’t have, hence he only got to see my smile on his pay-day, a fair deal for me, since father won’t let me break-up with the broke idiot

“Na good boy oo, give am time.” Papa had said, “He even washed my Mercedes benz and fixed the sockets, na correct husband material.” It was easier to fetch water into a basket than change papa’s mind about David. 

“Hi dear.” He said, as soon as he pulled over, “Hi.” I replied, keeping my words to the minimum, Joshua still looked like today’s bread, even after a stressful Monday, “Are you lost.” He stepped out of the car, proper gentle man attitude, I noticed, “My uber driver bailed on me.” I said, an easy lie, one to let him know that I was at his mercy, in this lonely road “Can I drop you home?” He shot, straight to the point, I wasn’t the only one who felt the connection when our hands met, like when you played the strings right, or touched the perfect note. “No, you look like you’re going somewhere different.” I ran a few fingers down his shoulder, and in my gum-body gown, it was hard for any man not to be caught staring.

“Then I shall change course, perhaps we could have something light for dinner.” He said, with that deadly smile, he was a flirt, I didn’t care.

“You have it all planned out?” I asked, the quickest way to hide my blush, “You put my brain to the swiftest use, darling.” Joshua said. The next minute, we were on Joshua’s three-setter, as we couldn’t make it to the bed, not with the way he ran his fingers all over me, and I consented, it would be hard for anyone in his position not to believe that I was a hookup-girl, not that he seemed to care with the way he rushed after me bits by bits, his lips found a new home in mine, I couldn’t think, all I wanted was this shiny head, chocolate skinned looking man, how could a baldie look and then filled this good. But I wanted him to take it easy, not like I was a prostitute, I was just a girl that wanted his love and his money, all of it.

Some men might call me a gold digger, “she’s after his money.” Bla bla bla, I didn’t believe so, I had taken a lot from the poverty life to know that it wasn’t for me, Mama had died because papa couldn’t gather the money on time, I didn’t want that, besides do men want ugly girls? No, they want sexy, pretty and hot damsels that was how I felt about Joshua, his money made everything feel in place.

“Stop.” I said, Joshua looked startled, like a dog hungry for bone, ready to pounce, he waited for my next move, “Meet me upstairs.” I winked, and then smiled. In homes like this, the master bedroom, was usually the biggest, so it was quite easy to locate and Joshua had found barely two minutes later. He had taken off my gum-body gown, and what was left was just my really expensive lingerie, I had it all planned, like a baby, ready to suck, I led Joshua to the bed, I was going to give him the sex of his life

I played with his cucumber sized balls that dangled before me, the easiest way to make a man submit to you was with sex, and as I sucked Joshua’s praqas and stroked it gently, I heard him moan like an idiot, each stroke sending a shiver to his spine and with the way his legs shook, no one needed to tell me. I had him where I wanted him, 

“What do you want.” Joshua said within his moans, I chuckled, and his fingers found a path inside me, “It’s too much for you.” I said, baiting him, “Nonsense, I’ll do anything for you.” Joshua claimed, I smiled, and stroked his praqas faster this time, “Oh really.” I said between his moans as he fingered me, I moaned too. I took my lips away from his lips, and found his praqas again and sucked, and sucked again, he moaned, much harder this time, but I wasn’t willing to stop, so I stroked him, back and forth, before finally presenting my demand to the king, like Esther.

 “Date me and let’s get married within six months, that’s what I want, Joshua.” I replied, and smiled, after seeing his startled face, 

“You see, I told you, you weren’t capable.” I withdrew slowly, letting go of his elongated praqas, and made my way to the rest room, “Wait, Ebele, I’ll get married to you.” Joshua yelled, I chuckled, and that was fast, faster than I thought, “Do you wish to sleep with me that bad?” I asked,

“Ever since I met you Ebele, sleep seems to have left me.” He replied, “I swear with the holy Quran and Bible that I’ll get married to you before the sixth month.” He swore. 

“You promised!” I yelled, nine months later at his 30th birthday party. Joshua smirked as he sipped a drink, how he dodged the glass cup “And you believed? In the heat of sex?” His questions made me look stupid, as I questioned my decisions that very night and the nights after, he had outsmarted me, I was a fool, I realized, 

“You played me.” I brushed away whatever tears that rushed out from my eyelids, even if I was going to breakdown, it wasn’t going to be in the presence of this Yoruba demon, I told myself. “You played yourself.” He said,

“If you’re still game for FWB, I’m game, but kill the idea of marriage.” Joshua said as he strolled off.

“I’m pregnant.” I yelled, and played the pregnancy game, “No, you’re not and even if you are, there’s no way I’m collecting that half-baked foetus of yours.” He yelled,

“And the party that I organized for you?” I pleaded, at least I deserved a refund, He smiled as he changed direction and strolled in my direction, all wasn’t lost after all“After all the trips to dubai, I deserve better love.” He pecked me on the cheek and left, I was dazed. 

I picked up my phone after I had spent five hours at the bar, a familiar face was waiting for me outside. David, a.k.a Mr. nice guy, I had called him earlier today after Joshua used me, so I made my way to the one who would always do as I said, my mumu for love, I smiled. He looked different now, and things seemed to have changed with this Toyota Camry of his, maybe I was the bad luck, not that I cared, the big man project didn’t work out, so I was back to my David, father was right after all, David na nice guy, who loved me and would do anything to watch me smile, so this time I took him back.

“Take me home.” I kissed him by the cheek, and embraced him tightly, my warm boobs on his chest did the trick, he couldn’t resist.