Aging has always been a weird phenomenon. You’re grateful for life yet weighed down by its troubles. Ironically, this world is annoyingly beautiful; too good to let go of, too complicated to revel in. 

As I cling tightly to the last moments of my 20’s; I have some regrets, mostly gratitude and a lot of reflection and lessons.

In all honesty; I have loved and I have lived, ashamedly, much longer than I had anticipated. 

I’ve learned that life is a game of give and take. Pray and seek. Pain and gratitude. This unusual dance is what brings about the balance.

I’ve realized that the easiest way to find happiness is to not go searching for it. It’s always there, you just have to let it in and be in the moment. 

I’ve Learned to sit with myself; flaws and all and boy does it feel like magic to the soul. Dare I even say that I am great company and there’s no bias. 

Life.

All my life, I’ve been wrestling with a purpose that’s still unclear to me but I’m starting to enjoy the ride. The surprising little twists and turns sometimes paint a much more detailed bigger picture. One you can put up in a museum and just stare at for hours on end. 

These days; i’m brazen enough to think that if my life were a painting, it’d rival The Monalisa. Art so intriguing that it can’t be helped but to keep returning to gawk at it. 

I’ve always wrestled with fitting in despite I never really made much effort to but I’m much happier being this awkward silly me. It feels colorful. 

Never been one for color, but lately,  I’m open to vibrancy. Could it be love?

Love.

“For you my love, I’d write a thousand songs & I’ll fight a thousand wars”

…

I’ve decided that I’m deserving of love, peace and happiness and I’m fighting tooth and nail to keep it that way even when the voices inside my head sometimes say otherwise. 

I am love. I give love hence I must receive love in its purest, kindest and wondrous form. 

It is the greatest honor to be loved truly. Having someone immerse themselves in protecting your heart is no faint exploit and for that I’m grateful to all those who have chosen me. 

Peace.

I’ve found that inner peace is more than just a concept, it truly is a manifestation of the life you desire. 

The crazy yet delicious feat about inner peace is that it flows like water. A hidden gem yet visible glow. 

It is possible to shape how life pans out. Not specifically but close enough. 

Hope.

My hope is that life always be kind and good to me and mine. That the toil of youth does not become the sorrow of tomorrow. That everyday I get a new reason to hope and the heavens remember me for good, always. 

God.

The greatest love. The one who holds my heart and my life. I beseech you that grace never runs out. I pray for daily mercies and endless blessings. 

I look forward to the next decade and hope for better days to come my way. More starry nights and some level of success. It would be greedy to ask for too much. I can only hope and pray that I retain all that I have now and grace grants me the willpower to do more with this life that I have been given. 

It certainly takes two to tango, so I hope the music plays on and blessings keep up with me and dance along to the beat of my drum.

At the end of the day; I am thankful for 29.