Layefa,I made jollof rice today. I wrote all the ingredients out on the notepad, the pink one you gave me for my 21st birthday. I catch a whiff of your scent each time I use that journal and I feel my heart shift slightly into place. The smell of home. I had to make a return trip to the grocery store because I forgot tomato paste. Can you believe it?! Who am I kidding? You anticipated this but don’t do it! Don't gloat, ‘I knew it, yen yen yen’, or I'll appear in your dreams tonight and force-feed you my peri peri chicken with Sunday special pasta. The absolute worst of the worstest of my cuisine. I will deny to the point of choking if you ever mention this.Remember the time you got admitted after we replicated the cream puffs recipe. The Holy grail! I knew we were both useless in the kitchen then. But you know I'm not one to accept defeat so easily and I've found a worthy opponent in the kitchen. Speaking of defeat, remember the time you asked Uche out and he kept playing in your face? I can still see your horrified facial expression as my first blow landed square on his nose, with a wet squelching sound. Sometimes when I have the worst hangovers, I can taste his blood on my tongue. And you naughty girl, still visited him in the hospital to drop flowers. You were a mumu through and through.I saw Lade recently and I stylishly asked her if she was in touch with him. You're saying amebo but I know you're as eager as I am to know how he ended up. Oya beg me, apologize, two barks. Because I'm nice, he’s married to Kemifola. Yes! I was right and you were wrong, I expect to be 100k richer by tomorrow. Zenith please! Back to my jollof, I didn't roast my peppers or lightly fry my spice like you used to do. You have no right to complain if you can't just send a batch over. Not like they'd taste any different though. And don't go feral on me, you are not your mother. That woman was gifted with the art of making good food. Her nkwobi was to die for.Remember when we stole a bottle of wine while our parents hosted friends to usher in the newyear? How old were we? 17? The way you hid it in your bra, I saw orange jumpers in your future. No you wouldn't look sexy in it. You wouldn't even last a day in prison, who are we kidding?The jollof rice! To crown it all, my rice was soggy and burnt. Kamsi made a tiktok about it, that child! I know she's your mole, the way she teases me and raves about you. One day, I'll evict her to come live with you. And you're not allowed to send her back. My further kitchen ventures have been temporarily suspended till further notice. I need to heal from the trauma of a failed jollof experiment. Give my baby a kiss for me and extend my warmest regards to your husband. He's a strong man, living with you all these years and still sane. Ngwanu, I need to apply my face mask now so I'll stop here. Till next week, sister.