I have a memory of waking up from a nightmare crying and walking to my parents room which was opposite my room. My dad waking up and asking me why i was crying. Me telling him I had a nightmare. Him drying my eyes as he lay me next to him...sandwiched between him and my mum. I remember the feeling that nothing could harm me as I fell asleep...I was six. I wish I could re-live that feeling.

I have a memory of my sister leaving for boarding school. I remember holding my tears back, that heaviness in my chest...it's hard to explain...I was eight. I felt this same feeling years later when my sister left for lagos right after she graduated secondary school...I was fifteen.

It was in later years I would discover I had a fear of abandonment.

I have a memory of the first time I had an anxiety attack...it was unexpected. It felt like I couldn't breathe...no matter how much I tried I couldn't get air into my lungs. Now as an adult I realise I've been suffering depression since I was twelve...been suicidal since I was fourteen...had anxiety since I was nineteen. I's a wonder I'm still alive.

I would get help in later years.

I have a memory of sitting on the rooftop in the dark, staring at the stars, the cool night breeze on my skin. I remember feeling peace...like there was no problem in the world.