“No matter how successful a woman is, if she is not married to her husband and children, she has lived a fruitless life.” Father had said that morning.
I was not too young to process it all, but still, I didn’t understand it. What did marriage have to do with success? Sister Adunni, a distant cousin of mine, had dropped out of school. Why? She was pregnant, an act that threatened her entire existence as a member of the Kajolas’. That changed when the culprit Babatunde, an old school teacher, paid her bride price withMama Funmi, the mother of the two girls being overjoyed, was something I failed to understand that night.
It became clearer when Sister Funmi, Adunni’s elder sister, had insisted that she’ll not get married until a man of her own class came for her. The class? A man who earned twice her salary. Something Papa didn’t buy into.
“What drink would you be savouring, sir?” The young man at the mini-bar took me back to reality. His eyes shimmered with excitement. I could tell that he was new in the business and wanted to make an impression, selecting and serving and mixing the best wine, He was an amateur, my conclusion.
"And who taught you how to blow big grammar?” I chuckled amidst the noise which arose from the living room with Kay the prime suspect. He was having the time of his life, and unlike all his other exes, he seemed to have found one that condoned his excesses.
“Hehhyy, Oga, how you take know??” He resorted to pidgin, I half-smiled and requested for a glass of water, I didn’t fancy alcohol. Besides, I wasn’t ready to misbehave in the presence of my favourite author. I could see her from where I stood, right above us. It was mixed feelings with me, how a person could have two alternate personalities. To the outside world, Eniola was this pretty, amazing work of art and successful woman that we all seemed to love and admire, but tonight felt different. She wasn’t perfect, I could tell.
“How many times shall I punish you?” she said to me, I had watched her come down the stairs a few moments ago.
“The bum-shorts don’t do you justice.” I confessed and noticed the eye-gouging gown that made everyone stare. I ran my fingers up her hair. She was the most beautiful lady that I had ever seen.
“What would you like to have ma’am.” The bartender interrupted, releasing us both of whatever tension that had erupted. What manner of glow up was this? Before, at the bookstore, she looked like a geek, a rude one, and now she turns out to be this goddess that everyone can stop staring at? Nah, that wasn’t fair, at least not on Bridget, her younger sister.
Two shots of Martini, Joseph.” She replied the Bartender, “Take your time,” she said, waving to him.
“So I’m guessing that you’re the cause?” I turned to her, she didn’t look away, this time.
“And what would that be?” She answered and chuckled, “The reason why this poor bartender speaks English as if he wants to break his tooth.” I smirked and felt pity for the young man, “That’s if he hasn’t,” I added and stared at the bartender.
“Well, he knew the details of the job before accepting.” She brought herself closer to me, “Didn’t he??” She groaned, I paused, her voice weighed softly over mine.
“Here you go ma’am.” Joseph interrupted, with the tray in his hands. I caught a breath and rested on the bar seat, I had been standing for too long I realized.
“Now I know you.” She pointed, I paused and didn’t stop staring.
“You’re the guy from the bookstore.” She yelled, I could tell that there Joseph was not the only staring us with her new found assertion, but I didn’t care.
“I am.” I replied. She sipped her glass of Martini in response, “Here you go, you’re gonna need it.” She said.
I gulped, “I don’t drink alcohol.” I declined. They both knew, Seni and Kay, whenever we stepped out for drinks, I always chose the non-alcoholic ones, and I wasn’t ready to break it even for the most beautiful girl in the world.
“That’s new,” She lighted a cigarette, “I’m guessing you don’t smoke too.” She added, I nodded in agreement, I became a book that she could now read effortlessly.
“So you are one of those kinds of men.” Eniola said and took a glance at Kay and then at me, “What kind?” Curiosity blinded me.
“The ones that are married.” She admitted after she saw the ring glued to my finger.
I struggled to give her an explanation on why I had a ring on, but it was her soft palm that met my face. I was dazed, “useless man.” I heard her say as she strode past me.
It was the first time a woman had dazed me, I stood in shock.
That was the last time I went to the Anyawu’s estate. Not even Kay would be able to change my mind, at least till she did. It was the first day that she appeared at my front door.
“How woman go slap you, and you go do nothing?” Seni begun the next evening. He ranted and began pacing around the living room in objective fury. Kay looked like there was shit in his face, I smiled a bit. It was expected, his sister-in-law to be had slapped me, just yesterday and Seni, the hot-headed one had heard about it.
“Guy calm-down now, I call you here, make you calm everywhere down, you wan con make it hot again.” Kay said softly, watching his every word. He turned to me, my face still unreadable as usual.“Dude, no vex now, Eniola explained to her sister what happened, and it got to me.” He sighed, and squatted on the floor beside me.
“It’s the only thing I have left of her.” I said silently, and found my way to the fridge.
“Muyiwa, so you no go talk anything ba?” Seni said, as though he was ready to go to battle. His nose flared hot, Kay as if in response switched on the T.V and laid on the couch.
“You should relax.” I replied and opened the bottle of Desperados with my teeth.
“You’re drinking.” Seni gaped in suprise, as I vibed to Bnxn’s Regret, my favourite song.
“You’ll care to join me?” I responded, ignoring his gaze. “I run a bar boy.” He boasted, Kay scoffed. Seni was that guy who could force a fight and get beaten because of a friend, not to talk of a best friend. He was that stubborn too, and boy, did he have a temper. Something that got me wondering, how could one be this calm and still have a temper?
“Get me one, too.” I heard Kay, our certified party boy, say. I wondered what it was, the part of me that always said yes to Kay, like the little brother I never had, I pampered him.
“So now that things are bad with Eniola, what’s gonna happen with Bridget?” Seni asked the question that we both avoided.
“Nothing.” Kay answered first, shortly after I passed him the bottle. “What does nothing mean?” I asked, in confusion. He sighed in response, “It means, I’ll find a way to get married to Bridget, that doesn’t involve your favourite author slapping you on the cheek.” He explained.
“Thank you.” I shrugged.
“Or do you like her?” I jumped in surprise, “No.” I scoffed, “She’s not even my type.” I added. A lie.
“Then how come she almost kissed you.” Seni’s face gaped in excitement, He saw us, I realized.
“You didn’t tell me that.” He said, smiling at Kay’s testimony.
“It was just a moment, until i was slapped hard,” I shied away.
His phone rang.
Seni stared at his phone, his hands all went jittery and unable to pick the call. “Guy pick your call now.” Kay said, annoyed by Seni’s ringing tone. “How’s she?” I said and ignored Kay’s frustrations. Seni sighed, understanding who I spoke of.
“So you go dey form hard guy but na woman dey handle you.” Kay ranted.
“Guys, Romoke is just Romoke.” He said. His fingers jittered when the phone rang again,
“Are you okay?” I asked, showing concern to my hot-headed friend who couldn’t stand against his wife. Kay had gone silent, and I knew why.
They had begun dating at the summer of 19’, and unlike the two of us, Seni had decided to take his relationship to the next level, something Kay had deemed too early at the time. As his guys, Romoke was a sweet, rich girl who had quite a lot of money, she’ll be perfect for you, a lie that I had told Mr. responsible. Kay, on the other hand wasn’t that sugarcoated whenever it came to his friends.
“Someone’s at the door,” Kay noticed.
“You dey expect any visitors?” Seni said, an attempt to take his mind off his wife. I nodded in disagreement or maybe it was Helene, my neighbour’s daughter that always came here to charge, the one that Kay had been eyeing recently. It was late already, I sighed.
My mind was one of the buses at Mushin garage again, occupied by many things, the secrets behind the ring, Kay’s marriage, and why Seni, my hot-tampered friend, feared his wife.
I tweaked the door knob open as Eniola Anyanwu stood by my door, her handbag neatly resting on her shoulders.
“What are you doing here?” I said to her and dropped the pillow in my hands.
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