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The Many Faces Of Recovery
Kingsley Okonkwor-Anslem
Kingsley Okonkwor-Anslem
3 months ago

Its not easy, you know? And it’s never linear, it’s not a “one size fits all” situation and I think that’s what a lot of people fail to realize. Going through heartbreak doesn’t automatically make you an “expert” on recovering from it. No two love stories are alike and in the same sense, no two heartbreaks are alike. It’s so easy to give advice; “delete their number”, “block them”, “delete all your pictures with them”, “if they text you don’t respond” etc. but it’s also important to remember that human beings are very complex and what works for you is not guaranteed to work for the next person.


Recovering from heartbreak can look like a lot of things.

It can be spending two weeks only eating one meal a day because your heart and your body just aren’t understanding one another.

It can look like spending 5 hours on a call everyday with your friend while they’re at work listening to the hustle and bustle of their day because yours is too quiet.

It can be establishing a friendship with your ex because that will make you feel infinitely better.

It can be telling everyone that you’ve moved on after a month when in reality you’re just tired of being a burden to them.

It can be spending every night before you go bed psyching yourself up to be okay and detach from the situation but then waking up at 2AM, 4AM and then again at 6AM with random memories of the two of you and crying your heart out till you inevitably fall back asleep.

It can be checking the photos and videos of them that you secretly refused to delete and remembering that love once existed there.

It can also be hoping, wishing that they come back.


It can be all of these, but what it cannot be is losing yourself to these routines. They are like using crutches after an accident. Allow yourself use them if they help you walk around better because one day you will heal and you won’t have a need for those crutches anymore. One day you’ll sleep through the night and they won’t be the first thing on your mind in the morning.

Do not rush your recovery process, allow yourself heal at your own pace. That someone else gets out of a three-year relationship and is able to recover in two weeks doesn’t mean that one week will be enough for you to recover from your six-month relationship.

Recovery isn’t linear for everyone, putting in the work, that’s all that matters.

 

 


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