I still remember the days when I would call my friends who were in university while I was still in junior high school. I was always so eager to know how they were doing, and I would ask them the same question every time: "Jacob, how's school? How's life treating you?" And every time, without fail, he would reply with a cheerful "I'm fine, everything is okay."

I would breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that my friend was doing perfectly well. But little did I know, Jacob was struggling with sickle cell disease. I later found out that on some of those days when I called him, he was in the hospital receiving blood transfusions. Yet, he would still manage to put on a brave face and tell me that everything was fine.

As I grew older and entered senior high school, my friends changed, but the pattern remained the same. I would call them, ask how they were doing, and they would reply with a reassuring "I'm fine." Tega, who was in orientation camp, would tell me about how much fun she was having, while secretly battling malaria fever. I'd tease her about getting married soon, and she'd laugh and say, "Girl, I'm not even done with camp, let alone marriage!"

Uncle Haruna, who had just lost his job, would joke about buying me JAMB novels and almond chocolate, all while searching for his next opportunity. I'd ask him, "Uncle, when are you buying me those books?" And he'd reply, "Soon, mama(Mama was the name he fondly calls me),soon. I'm just waiting for my lottery winnings to come through."

Years went by, and I found myself on the other side of the conversation. My younger sister, who Is in medical school, would call me to ask about my life after graduation. I'd put on a bright smile (even though she couldn't see me) and tell her that everything was fine. "I'm fine, work is smooth, and I'll come visit you soon, we'll go on a sister's date and you can bring your bestie and her kid sister." I would say. She was super excited.

But then she'd ask me, "Sis, have you eaten already? You're not surviving on just air, are you?" And I'd laugh and say, "Of course not, I'm eating plenty of Golden morn and bread ." She'd giggle and say, "Well, at least you're getting creative with your recipe." 

The truth was far from it, though. I was struggling to find a job, get shortlisted for different competitions and grow my social media platforms. I was anxious about my future, and the weight of responsibility was bearing down on me. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to tell my sister that I wasn't fine. I didn't want to burden her with my problems or make her worry.

And that's when it hit me – we all do it. We all put on masks to hide our true feelings. We tell people that we're fine, even when we're not. We pretend that everything is okay, even when it's not. And we do it for various reasons – to avoid burdening others, to appear strong, or simply because we don't know how to express our emotions.

But the truth is, we're not always fine. Sometimes, we're struggling to stay afloat, to make ends meet, or to find our place in the world. Sometimes, we're fighting battles that no one knows about, battles that leave us drained, exhausted, and feeling like we're barely holding on.

So, I ask you, are you fine? Is work okay? Is life treating you well? Perhaps your response will be "I'm fine, everything is okay." But I want you to know that it's okay not to be fine. It's okay to struggle, to falter, and to feel overwhelmed. Because in those moments of vulnerability, we might just find the courage to be honest with ourselves and with others.

You see, broken crayons still color. They may not be perfect, but they still bring beauty and vibrancy to our world. And that's exactly what we are – imperfect, yet still capable of creating something beautiful. So, let's take off our masks, shall we? Let's be brave enough to say, "I'm not fine," and mean it. Let's be strong enough to ask for help, to seek support, and to be vulnerable.

Because when we do, we might just find that we're not alone in our struggles. We might just find that others are fighting similar battles, and that together, we can find the strength to carry on.

So, are you fine? Really?