“Okay guys, we need to talk for real.” I felt like this was the time to bring it up. I'd fed them, entertained them, even made them laugh the entire weekend. The evening breeze was cool, drawing in the salty scent of the sea from the beach.

I’d invited the guys to Bonny for the weekend. The sea had always been my favorite part of the island — that’s why I picked this apartment. The entire backside opened up to the beach, separated only by a pitifully scalable iron bar fence.

Boateng looked at me, slightly confused. He was probably wondering if we had planned any serious conversation he hadn’t prepared for — he came for the food. Bo was an architect. The only thing Bo liked more than buildings was food, in whatever form it came. Bo just wanted it.

“Talk about what?” the Coach asked, taking the question from Bo’s lips.

“Something happened.”

“What happened?”

“See this back-and-forth thing you guys want to start, abeg, don’t,” Raphael said, only half-listening.

“Whose turn is it to play?” Bo asked, smiling at Raph.

“Raph was vexed. “Didn’t you play ‘six six’? Abi you don’t know you’re supposed to play again?”

I was losing my crowd. I needed them back.

“Omo, guys — I had a panic attack.”

I let it sit. Gave them time to stew on it. They all seemed to arrive at the understanding at the same time.

“In a bus?”

They hadn’t been expecting that. The small piece of clarity they’d just gotten fell apart.

“Wetin dey make you fear?” Coach asked. He always spoke first. The Coach was a full-time nurse and a part-time gambler. We all knew if he ever went full-time with gambling, he’d already be loaded.

“That’s the thing — I have no idea. It just… happened.”

“When did it happen?” Coach asked.

“Two Sundays ago. You remember that church babe wey carry me go church?”

“Ashawo don give pastor daughter belle,” Raph said, and everyone laughed.

“Guy, can you relax?” I shifted in my chair. “As I was saying — she picked me up around 8:15 and took me to church. The service was short, we were done before twelve.

“She said she had a meeting at the church, so she couldn’t drive me back. She dropped me halfway, and I decided to get a bus.”

My shoulders tensed. I rearranged myself in the chair, wondering if I really wanted to share all this.

“So na so the driver and one woman dey argue about price. She was saying something about how the price of the bus kept going up, and how she didn’t have enough to pay for both herself and her children. Na then e happen. Next thing — my chest tightens, I’m hyperventilating. The driver dey look me like, ‘Who be this one wey don craze for my moto?’

“Omo, na so I tell driver say I dey come down oh. I paid and just walked the rest of the way.”

They were all staring at me, shocked. I could tell they were each diagnosing me in their heads.

“It’s probably all those old women you’re fucking. You’re probably just sucking in anxiety and high BP,” Raph said first.

“Is it not one of those women that’s paying for this trip?” I shot back.

Nobody said anything for what felt like too many minutes. I listened to the dice dance inside the plastic cup as Coach shook it.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I think I am. It’s all been pretty normal since then.”

“You should see a doctor. I keep telling you guys to get checked out. Una no dey gree hear. And Adosila dey try talk to person — no be when e happen you go con dey talk.”

I nodded. “True,” I said.

I think it was just the sudden realization that everything is constantly changing and today you have enough and you wake up tomorrow you’re falling short and the finality of that seemed to displace me

“Abeg, baba. You dey cry inside bus like small pikin.” Raph was smiling. “I don’t blame you. Have you ever had sense?”

“So na why you carry us come this place?” Raph again.

“You dey talk like say person force you.” He’d been the first to accept the invite.

“Remember that married couple? I told you guys I was designing their house in Port Harcourt,” Bo said. I realized then how quiet he’d been all evening. He seemed… somewhere else.

“Yes,” we all replied. He’d told us about the house. Really, he’d told us about the wife.

“I slept with the wife.”

“Bo, you’ve ended another marriage,” I said, my ears and eyes suddenly wide open to receive every detail of his story.