On June 28, 2022, I penned my thoughts in a poem.

Today, I share them again—this time through a clearer, wiser lens.

But first, let me share the old poem:

“I am my biggest critic

I stand in front of the mirror,

poking at my insecurities—my arms, my belly, and my acne.

Why can’t my skin be smooth?

Why can’t my belly be flat,

and my arms and calves toned?

You are perfect just the way you are, precious one. Be kind to yourself,

the tiny voice whispers.

I worry about my career

and often wonder if I am where I should be.

I did not do enough.

I am not doing enough.

I can be better,

or maybe I am just mediocre.

Am I desiring too much?

Am I aiming too high?

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

I am my biggest critic,

and oftentimes, I beat myself down.”

— Theibkay

Over the last three years, I have learned and I’m still learning how to silence that tiny voice of doubt that second-guesses my potential.

I’ve cut off “friends” who made it their mission to feed off my insecurities at my expense.

I’ve accepted that being accessible to everyone doesn’t make me a good person but rather

it often just makes me a person without boundaries.

I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin ,to do things I truly enjoy without waiting for a specific group of people to join in.

What has this done? It has re-affirmed my belief that friends and family serve different purposes in my life. There are people I can go paintballing with, and others I’d rather share wine and deep conversation with. But limiting my experiences to the preferences of others? That is no longer an option. I’m in the growth and glow phase of my life. My only aim is to find and fully become my true self.

The only person I compete with is the version of me from yesterday. What does this mean? It means I strive to be better than I was, never comparing my progress to the person next to me.

I’m still my own critic, but now, I can confidently say: The 2022 version of me would be so proud. And I? I’m eager to meet future me.

Because I now understand that I have a responsibility to build myself. To meet the new me, I must remain resilient, consistent, patient, grateful, and committed.

And that is what I shall be!