“At the tone, record your message.”

Hey Pookie!

Well… Things are going…. great. 

*Silence*

I went shopping on the 19th. Quite an improvement on my part because this time I didn’t wait till Mary was 7cm dilated before heading to the store.

Gosh, things are so expensive!!

I bought a tree at the start of the month. Yeah, I kinda forgot to mention that. That’s exactly a quarter of my year end bonus standing at the corner of the living room. It was an impulse buy, you wouldn’t approve. All them “white people things.” *chuckle*

I put it up a week ago, nothing extra, just a few lights and stuff. 

Don’t worry, I will take it down on the 2nd of January. We’re not one of those people that leave their trees up till March. Unserious people, *kissing my teeth*.

Oh well, you probably don’t want to hear all that.

I sha saw your pictures this morning.

I know we agreed no calls but I just thought maybe… *silence*

*sniffles*

Yeah, I have a flu. Consequences of being outside every night with the twenty million people in Lagos. *chuckles*

Those your pictures sha.

A fair 6/10 from me. I didn’t see any intimacy. You people should do better next year and please allow that “Merry Christmas from me and mine” caption to rest abeg. Try and be creative, hehe.

Nahh, this voicemail is chaotic as fuck.

I should hang up, Fred wants us to go for brunch soon; Mr. Best in romance.

And yeah, I saw the streak you sent last night “It’s Christmas, and I wish you were here.”

Try to enjoy the time with your family oh!! They are the most important.

Will see you next year, my love.

Don’t miss me too much because you know I don’t even think about you, hehe.

*call disconnect tone*