For the one still living in the past,
His servant once told me, “you have to stop romanticizing your Egypt.” {exodus 16}
There are times I look back and desire the things that The Glorious One delivered me from, and forget that there’s nothing there for me anymore. Maybe for who I was two years ago, but not for who I am. Not my new identity. My Truth.
Dear one, you get lost in the creativity of your imagination, painting your past to be something it never was, painting the darkness as some sort of light. {matthew 6:23b}
You get lost in the longing of what could have been, saying maybe you were the one who was blind, the one who was wrong. You forget dear one, the things that The Redeemer showed you in the darkness. How He held you to His heart while yours split with every sob, how He showed you the allure of the lilies, only to show you how your beauty excelled all creations. {genesis 1:26-27;31, songs of Solomon 4:7, matthew 10:31}
You see, you feel stuck cause your in your wilderness, you’re hungry, just as the Israelites. {exodus 16:2-3}
But in sinful nature, you hunger not for what was promised by Abba, but for what once burnt you tongue and left you blisters that The Healer is already tending to.
Remember when the sores burned like sulphur, and you opened your mouth wide, crying to Rapha? {exodus 2:23-25} It hurts Him that now you are healing, with promise of sealed scars, you close your lips, obstructing your healing and encouraging deep scars.
I do not judge you beloved, for we sail the same boat,
but I fear that the weight we hold unto, shall cause us to sink, {matthew 11:28}
and the cloak which we hold over our eyes, shall stop us from seeing The Life while He rides the waves on His bruised feet, {romans 1:24, ephesians 4: 17-19}
sticking His hands into this pool of transgression to pull. us. out. We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? {romans 6:1-2}
The wilderness you see around you is not an extension of Egypt, it Is Glory.
The wasteland that you stand on is not proof of abandonment, -shall the Lord save you at night, to cease your breathe before sun rise? - it is fruit of the promise that God made to Abraham.
You are the oasis in this desert, beloved. The fulfillment of the price paid on The Cross. {john 1:12, 1 peter 2:9}
But remember chosen one, there was silence in the Garden of Gethsemane, do you now see that that was the zenith of The Sacrifice’s wilderness.
The test of His faithfulness, He could have turned away, the same way you can. But the difference is tragedy followed His abstinence from the world, so that you would have a promised end, with He that died for you. {exodus 16:4}
There is longing in your heart, child, that they would love you for who you have become. Remember, you are of a new order, that will always be foreign to the world.
Or maybe you wish that they would find this life you have found, so that you could live it together with them. Darling, that is not the point, this new life is with Jesus, perhaps if He lets you be the one to bring them to Him, you would become their god, or they’d become yours.
Sometimes when you catch yourself saying that it can no longer be that bad, after all you have found Christ, one more time would not hurt, you are creating a god within yourself and your canal abilities.
In the wilderness you are closer to God than you were in Egypt. He created the wilderness, it Is the path to Him. We can do this, I say this because I see that it cannot be of my own strength.
So while you ponder on this message from He that moved over the face of the waters in the beginning, think to Matthew 6:33, but do not seek because of the gift, but because The Giver is True.
We are all in this wilderness, close your eyes my darling and you will see, The Spirit of God that roams this fruitful land, overseeing the planting of seed. {psalm 3:3}
Look a little forward, and you shall see Him closely, The True Vine. John 15:1-8. Now look to your body, do you see that you are a branch? With healthy leaves, I can even spot a grape.
Oh! You look around for me, I sit to your right, holding out this fruit which is this message to you.
“Oh ye of little faith”, the vine chuckled, you could feel the foundations quiver, “keep your eyes on me, for some do have many fruits that the travelers eat of, and you still bear infants so you worry,” he smiled, bright.
“Verily I say unto you, these fruits were infant as yours are, but they became as they are because they kept their gaze on me.” {matthew 1:41-42}
Look down my love, do you see the stream around the bark of the vine? The water comes from The Fountain, the one which runs from the promise land… up ahead.
When you open your eyes you shall see, how beautiful the wilderness is indeed. Romans 5:3-4
Remember, when it seems hard to navigate, listen for His voice, whether it be in the wind, The Book or through mine. John 10:27
With love.
the one He sent.
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